Well, it’s 6am on Thursday already.
Yesterday I tried to set simple goals for myself: get toiletries, clothes, and a cup of coffee. Felt pretty proud that I had done all three by 10 am. Thank God for Walmart.
We were staying at my dear friend Pandora’s home (she and her husband Ramone are on vacation and she texted me from Washington offering her home as an oasis after learning about the fires from the news). What a wonderful human being she is!
At any rate, after getting back to Pandora’s with clothes that didn’t stink and some new deodorant, Nancy and I set off for the old homestead to survey the damage. What did we find? Armageddon comes to mind. I’ve attached a before and after photo so you can judge for yourself. Gone. All evidence of a lifetime … family photos, my books, all of the incredible weavings Nancy had made over the years … reduced to ash. All trace of our existence for the past 60 plus years … ash in one afternoon.
As we headed back to Pandora’s place, more fires broke out. Dodging traffic and more backroads we got back just in time to evacuate once again. Reports of fires South and North, little sleep for the past three days, I simply didn’t know where to go.
Nancy’s friend Mary (who is away on a camping trip) texted that we could stay at her house in Ashland … if we could figure out a way to get there with I-5 and US 99 closed (the two major roads between where we were at the time and our hoped for destination).
Zigged and zagged and got to Ashland.
The journey was punctuated by overwhelming acts of kindness. Stopping for some food at a shopping center, Nancy noticed the pet store where I have gotten our beautiful poodle Shanti her most favorite dehydrated organic duck treats. Seems, Shanti too has been traumatized by the recent turn of events and hadn’t eaten in two days. Nancy went in to get the treats and the owner wouldn’t take our money. He learned about our house burning and gave Nancy the treats, plus an extra bag, and a comb for Shanti and told her to tell anyone else displaced from the fires to come and get whatever their pets need for free.
Then there was our insurance guy from Pemco. He called, deposited a huge amount of money into our checking account and gave us his personal cell number to call, night or day, with any questions while they process our claim and find us a place to live.
We never did get to Mary’s. Along the way, I was seized by an overwhelming need for just a place to land where I could get a hot shower and tried one more time to locate a hotel room where we could hole up for a few days and not put anyone else out. Christy at the Bard’s Inn had one last room. Insurance guy would cover it and we could stay for several days. Christy went out of her way to get us some fruit and yogurt for dinner and wouldn’t even take the $20 I tried to slip her.
So here it is 6 am on day three after the burn.
It’s funny, I woke up thinking about the wonderful pair of fingernail clippers I had in our bathroom and wondered how I would ever find just such a perfect pair for my particular fingers again? The total loss is numbing. But bits and pieces of all the little and not so little stuff holding emotional attachment pierced through my consciousness like Whack-A-Moles. I’d beat one back and another would pop up.
Nancy woke up and we held hands and talked about things we’d particularly miss. Our back garden, the family piano … but also so grateful to be safe, lying on a comfortable king-sized bed whit Shanti between us … and for our so many dear friends and family.
Look it’s bad, but we are so blessed in the midst of it. Financially we’re fine. It’s a huge hassle, but we’ll be OK. We’re safe, we have each other, we are loved.
And so I’m writing all this down now because I don’t want to forget when my life gets back to normal … or at least as normal as I get. I don’t want to forget the kindnesses of strangers, the unexpected outpouring of love and affection. I basically think of myself as a pain in the ass. And to be the recipient of so much love and kindness is hard for me. I suck at receiving. But it seems this one lesson God won’t let me avoid.
Stuff is just stuff and one day it will all burn up.
But giving and receiving kindness is eternal …
Recently a dear friend had become seriously ill and she asked me to come and pray for her. In preparation for our time together I stumbled across this beautiful blessing / poem by the wonderful John O’Donohue. As I was reading it to her, it struck me how the words flowing from O’Donohue’s soul were so appropriate for our nation right now. It seems to me that as a country we are suffering from a deep and festering soul sickness. It matters not to me what side of the political line you may be on, I think it is clear we are all hurting. You know the issues. Fear, anger, and shaming are rampant. 
May grace guide you, peace surround you, and joy surprise you today. Blessings, Fred